A wise man once said “Never deal with a horse when you are in a fit of temper.”
The same goes for a blog, too. And, I have to say, amazing readers – that is just what I did yesterday.
I got irritated and annoyed at the negative HG reviews out there, by people who didn’t even seem to have read the books, or people who had gone in with pre-supposed ideas –
and I went on an emotional, rather than rational, rampage. I behaved more like an immature four-year-old than a near-eighteen-year-old, and I certainly did not come across Christian. The only excuse I have is that yesterday was a stressful, taxing day emotionally, and when I write, my emotions – be they anger, sadness, joy, whatever – come out in full force.
Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, yesterday, I did the exact opposite of what Ephesians 4: 29 tells us to do –
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
My mother pointed out that it sounded as if I was personally attacking Kevin Swanson, the gentleman who wrote the article calling Cinna a homosexual and speaking as if he hadn’t really paid attention to the movie. Now, this thought, in all honesty, had never entered my head – but I behaved as if it had.
And what I had fully intended to write as a well-reasoned, mature review turned into a belligerent, petulant feeding frenzy in which I tore apart the logical views of other human beings – some of them Christian, no less.
I almost deleted the post I did yesterday – but I decided not to. It’s probably better for you all to learn from my mistakes, because when I make them, they’re WHOPPERS – and if I ever get the thought into my head to shoot keyboard-darts at someone from the comfort and safety of my computer, I hope I’ll think twice.
In short, I agree with the points I made yesterday. I do believe the reasons I gave for why I disagree with Kevin Swanson and some other reviewers out there. But I’m ashamed of the manner in which I came across, even if it was unintentional.
I was told by several people that my post yesterday was ‘well informed’ and ‘well-reasoned,’ which made me feel both better – and worse. Better, because I can think that maybe it wasn’t quite as horrific as I feel it was. Worse, because it must sound normal to the people who read it. Was that the best I could do? No, it wasn’t.
It isn’t easy for me to apologize. I’ve never been good at admitting I was wrong – probably because I always want to think myself right.
But I’m sorry. I really, truly am sorry for laying down my Christian glasses and, for a moment, stepping into the flaming world of Offense rather than Defense. I’m not taking back the points I made – but I am taking back my attitude.
I hope you’ll bear with me, and prayer would be amazingly appreciated – because while this may not seem this is a big deal, it is to me. James 1: 26 says “If any man seems to be religious, yet bridles not his tongue, this man’s religion is vain.” And yesterday, I failed to bridle my fingers from typing out something which could hurt specific people. I failed God, I failed my parents, I failed myself – and I failed you. And if you stick with me through this, I will love you more than ever.
Credendo Vides, my amazing people. New (hopefully *normal*) blog post to come up soon!