Well, I only posted Eristor’s first letter yesterday and already its popularity is blooming! Most of my female readers – cough – wanted a more – ahem – romantic letter from my favorite killjoy, Eristor. So let’s see how my brooding prince does in making all you ladies swoon. ^.^(Honestly, it felt weird peeking this far into his future soul. I was definitely an intruder, and so will you be – just don’t tell him.)
The last time I sat down to write you, I felt as if I were being forced. This time it is different – I feel somehow compelled to pick up my pen. I have nothing to say – nothing to say that will make sense to you, in any case, and yet I feel I must begin. The first moment I saw you (forgive my lack of chivalry) was not one of my more exemplary shining moments. I grow angry with myself at the very thought of it, and yet I felt myself perfectly justified at the time. You probably know by now that I am not the sort to beg forgiveness, particularly for past sins which cannot be rectified even now, so I will not. I will, however, attempt to express some feelings which are a continual puzzle to me in the hopes that you will find something understandable in them, and have more success doing so than I have.
I did not always like you. As a matter of plain fact, I begrudged your entire existence from the moment you first ran into me until… well, honestly I don’t know. Within the past several months, I have felt an odd sort of thawing in my view toward you. It is as if a veil of misconception was torn from my eyes and I can see you for what you truly are.
Do not be alarmed, it is not as horrific as you may think. We all have our imperfections, some of us more than most, but you have one very great advantage – you see them. You work to overcome them, rather than letting them envelope you as I have. I am not used to pointing out my own flaws… I suppose this is an apology after all? I’m beyond the point of caring. I have never cared what you thought of me, and I still do not live my life by your view, however I have come to realize that strangely, I want you to look kindly upon me. Why I should want this, I don’t know.
Tylir is calling me a lovesick fool, but I do not believe his assessment is quite correct. ‘Fool’ is something I strive to avoid being at all costs, and as for ‘lovesick’ I do not agree with the term. I believe most people’s view on love is skewed and incorrect; an intangible emotion as fleeting as summer’s warmth. This, I can tell you, is not what I feel. I have come to admire your human ways which I do not understand. You are most likely reading this with an expression of bewilderment on your face, and rightly so for it would match the look on my own. Apparently, I can keep other people’s heads straight but not my own.
On second thought, I do not think I will even send this. Perhaps one day, when I know my own self, I will tell you to your face what I cannot seem to say now…