Once, I was chatting with my friend Brendan while trying to put a blog post up. The page was being difficult, so I logged out and asked him if he could log in with my username and password to make sure it was only my computer, not WordPress. He obliged, logged in for me, and told me everything was hunky-dory on his end. As he signed out, I asked, “So, what was it like, being me?” And his response was the most accurate representation of me I’ve ever heard. He said, “It was weird! I just – I loved so many things! I didn’t know what to do with them all!! So! Many! Things! It’s tiring being you!”
It was one of those candid moments where you aren’t sure whether to laugh or cry at the accuracy. (I ended up laughing.) I thought the story a fitting prologue for a question I received that I decided needed a post of its own.
“Who was your first fictional crush?”
Personally, I think the word ‘crush’ doesn’t quite fit the way one feels about a fictional character, so I created another word and definition.
1. n, occ. v.
the character whom one is attached to within a certain piece of fiction (i.e. book, movie, television series, or drama). This word represents both the character and the feeling – that is, the urge – to ‘smoosh’ said character (i.e. keep them safe, love them, write characters just like them, etc.).
I think it’s an acceptable term; and ladies and gentlemen, I have had far more than just one. My first smoosh was, I believe, Attean from Elizabeth George Spear’s novel, The Sign of the Beaver. I saw the movie before I ever read the book, but heavens demergatroid, he was the One for me. Of course, that progressed until everything I watched or read provided a new smoosh. A few of my main squeezes when I was younger were; The Beast (Beauty and the Beast) Mullet Fingers (Hoot) Alan a’Dale (Robin Hood) Eomer (the Lord of the Rings) Thranduil (The Hobbit) Murtagh (Eragon) Senri (+Anima) Howl (Howl’s Moving Castle) Spud Spiller (The Borrowers) – the list goes on. (As for whether or not they’re still smooshes – I’m not telling.) I would list my current literary loves, but I’m afraid that would take too long.
What about you? Any childhood smoosh you’d care to tell me about?