Fact: I used to be much younger than I am. Also, I’m not very good at growing. I don’t outgrow the things I’m supposed to – kid’s animated movies, laughing at lame things, finding pranks hilarious, being overly enthusiastic and obsessive. I might wear makeup, do my hair and look adult when I leave the house, but inside I squeal and laugh and cry at stupid things and love ridiculous plastic figurines and read manga. Don’t get me wrong, that isn’t ALL I do. I listen to music with deep lyrics and I read philosophical books and I work hard at my school and I do my best to pick up the slack when the house is in chaos, but I have a sort of philosophy myself. Just because I’m older or younger than you doesn’t mean I’m going to treat you differently. I don’t care what color you are, how old you are, what race you are – I don’t differentiate. I want to be your friend, it doesn’t matter if you’re twelve or forty-two. I will act how I feel unless the actions are completely innapropriate for the time. Therefore, sometimes I’m obnoxiously happy and sometimes I’m so withdrawn you might think I’m dead. I used to be an extremely introverted child, and I guess I’m just living my childhood backwards. I spent too long in black and white, now everything is live in Technicolor. I may mellow out into a more even stretch of road as I get older, but I honestly hope I don’t mellow out too much. I don’t want to lose a childlike view of the world. I want to believe in the goodness of things. I want to have faith like Lucy. I want to never lose the creativity of a child. I don’t want my universe of imagination to become a roomfull of dust. I don’t want to outgrow beauty or fun or the fantastic, I don’t want to stop liking things so much that I can’t help but talk about them even if the other party thinks it’s silly. I don’t think our God is an uncreative, unimaginative, un-fun-loving God – why should I try to be something He isn’t? Let’s stop killing the child inside us.
“There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes.”