i woke up
i had a leftover christmas cookie
i sat down to write…
and now suddenly i’m nostalgic. i’m not sure how it happened. maybe it’s just christmas, but i think it may have something to do with the fact that i was writing a scene featuring sienna and eristor for my beautiful friend hannah nicole. i hadn’t interacted with these characters in so long that they broke a sort of dam in me, and when a dam breaks i feel like writing in lower-case letters.
it made me think of all the people in my life who have been only flickers – people i’ve only spoken to once, or met in passing, people i’ve only known through a comment somewhere on the internet. people who have touched my life, if only briefly. some i’ve forgotten, some i remember even now, years and years later. i’m not good at remembering specific things, but i’m good at remembering how things made me feel. i read somewhere that people don’t remember moments, they remember feelings. they may not remember exactly what you said, but they’ll remember whether it hurt them or gave them hope.
there are many things i want to do in 2013. graduate, get my driver’s license, keep writing, become a better person. but my main goal is to give people feelings they’ll remember. i want to give them sparks of hope, put smiles on their faces, let them know they’re worth something. i’m good at putting people down, but on the flipside i’m also good at lifting people up. in 2013 i’m determined to become the sort of person who thinks twice before they say something mean and substitutes it for something christlike and loving instead. i want to make people feel optimistic and hopeful and loved and special, even if they’re only over the phone, or a face on the street, or a passerby stopping once by my blog. i want them to remember how i made them feel godlight, even if they don’t remember who shone it.