A wise man once said “Never deal with a horse when you are in a fit of temper.”

The same goes for a blog, too. And, I have to say, amazing readers – that is just what I did yesterday.

I got irritated and annoyed at the negative HG reviews out there, by people who didn’t even seem to have read the books, or people who had gone in with pre-supposed ideas –

and I went on an emotional, rather than rational, rampage. I behaved more like an immature four-year-old than a near-eighteen-year-old, and I certainly did not come across Christian. The only excuse I have is that yesterday was a stressful, taxing day emotionally, and when I write, my emotions – be they anger, sadness, joy, whatever – come out in full force.

Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, yesterday, I did the exact opposite of what Ephesians 4: 29 tells us to do –

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

My mother pointed out that it sounded as if I was personally attacking Kevin Swanson, the gentleman who wrote the article calling Cinna a homosexual and speaking as if he hadn’t really paid attention to the movie. Now, this thought, in all honesty, had never entered my head – but I behaved as if it had.

And what I had fully intended to write as a well-reasoned, mature review turned into a belligerent, petulant feeding frenzy in which I tore apart the logical views of other human beings – some of them Christian, no less.

I almost deleted the post I did yesterday – but I decided not to. It’s probably better for you all to learn from my mistakes, because when I make them, they’re WHOPPERS – and if I ever get the thought into my head to shoot keyboard-darts at someone from the comfort and safety of my computer, I hope I’ll think twice.

In short, I agree with the points I made yesterday. I do believe the reasons I gave for why I disagree with Kevin Swanson and some other reviewers out there. But I’m ashamed of the manner in which I came across, even if it was unintentional.

I was told by several people that my post yesterday was ‘well informed’ and ‘well-reasoned,’ which made me feel both better – and worse. Better, because I can think that maybe it wasn’t quite as horrific as I feel it was. Worse, because it must sound normal to the people who read it. Was that the best I could do? No, it wasn’t.

It isn’t easy for me to apologize. I’ve never been good at admitting I was wrong – probably because I always want to think myself right. 

But I’m sorry. I really, truly am sorry for laying down my Christian glasses and, for a moment, stepping into the flaming world of Offense rather than Defense. I’m not taking back the points I made – but I am taking back my attitude.

I hope you’ll bear with me, and prayer would be amazingly appreciated – because while this may not seem this is a big deal, it is to me. James 1: 26 says “If any man seems to be religious, yet bridles not his tongue, this man’s religion is vain.” And yesterday, I failed to bridle my fingers from typing out something which could hurt specific people. I failed God, I failed my parents, I failed myself – and I failed you. And if you stick with me through this, I will love you more than ever.

Credendo Vides, my amazing people. New (hopefully *normal*) blog post to come up soon!

~ Mirriam


25 thoughts on “Confessions

    • ASHLEY!!! You didn’t cause the rant! It was my own silly self, and don’t you think I blame you at all. And don’t get it into your head I’m holding anything against you or – well, just don’t!!! ((((((HUG))))))

  1. 1) While “petulant” isn’t a word that came to mind when I read your review, it’s good to see that you’re humble and admit your mistakes. 🙂
    2) Ah, so Kevin Swanson wrote the review calling Cinna a homosexual that you disagreed with; interesting. Oh, he was talking about the movie (not the books)?
    3) “gentlemen” -> “gentleman”; “belligerant” -> “belligerent”; “quiet” -> “quite” (courtesy of your friendly, local neighborhood proofreader 😉

  2. Wait, you mean you’re HUMAN? O_O

    ::goes to drown disillusionment in Roobius tea:: O:)

    Yeah, I knew you were “hot” yesterday but I also know that any work which provokes deep thought will provoke anger when challenged by another. I mean c’mon, the reader becomes part of the story. So when the story is attacked, so is the reader.

    Frankly, I don’t see what the sexual orientation of the character has to do with the role he plays in the story, or why any reviewer would pick that out as a negative or positive. It’s a bit, in my opinion, off topic. There were far deeper and more grave things to highlight if you were going to dissect the movie/book.

    I have my own thoughts about The Hunger Games, and I’m trying to decide if it’s worth it to share them or not. I’m leaning more towards the “not” but we’ll see. Let me say here not all of those thoughts are negative. My gut feeling is somber. I’m somber about the series. If I can articulate the reason why, I’ll share.

    I thought your points were valid, but you were definitely hot. Could you have written it cooler and more balanced? Possibly. However, when the words of a friend are confused or glowing like phosphorus I look past them, and trust the heart behind them.

    😀 What else are friends for, other than to bear with one another’s imperfections, walk together, help each other out of the pits we all fall into, and know the heart better than we know the words?

    You’ll do better next time.

    And I’m proud of you for owning your slip. The ego kicks like mad, doesn’t it? It’s a vicious powerful little thing. I’m glad I have Jesus and friends like you to help me keep MINE in check. 😉

  3. Personally, it didn’t come across to me as angry, just very opinionated (which can be a good thing!). *hugs you* Everybody makes mistakes though, right? It’s just human (Eristor would tell you that, I guess . . .) which I’m glad to know you are 😉

    I have been resisting reading/watching The Hunger Games so far mainly because of all the death (I don’t like it when characters I like die) but, partly because of your thoughts, I may break down and try to educate myself on it before forming an opinion. Dunno…

    Anyway, love you, dear! 🙂 *hugs you again*

      • Woohooooo! 😀 I shall await ever-so-eagerly!!!

        And thank you! I have much experience in that arena, since I've been writing letters to a particular friend since before I could really write, though we've switched mostly to emails in the last couple years, so I did fear I might be out of practice . . .

  4. Hahaa…I went to listen to the thing by the fellow.
    I didn’t get past “cannibalistic blood-sucker movies” part without busting out laughing. Because vampires aren’t cannibals. They’re a whole ‘nother race.
    Is that bad of me?

  5. While I understand your apology for the Hunger Games post and whatnot, I do agree with your assessment of what people are saying about it and that it does have something to say about where the world is headed as a media culture.
    I even posted a paragraph I wrote about it.
    PS thanks for the lovely blog 🙂 I do enjoy reading

    • Siriana; thank you SO much. It’s amazing to know I have followers who are willing to bear with me through sunshine and thunderstorms =D I’m going over to read your paragraph right now! ^.^

  6. I don’t even know what Hunger Games is/are, so your last post bounced completely off of my head. But from someone who has had more than his share of issues with wanting to be right all the time, or be right over being loving, or holding to strong and sometimes over-harsh opinions, I can relate. And I am honored to read the blog of someone willing to admit their own mistakes and weaknesses. That’s rare.

  7. I was glad to see your post yesterday, because I have seen soo many people taking the series completely wrong, and it’s just been kind of discouraging as I’ve tried to discuss it. Your points were good. 🙂
    And, to tell the truth, if this had been somebody else’s blog, I would have thought no more about it… but I was faintly surprised at the tone. And obviously that says things about how you usually post – it wasn’t normal for you. 🙂
    This post definitely took a lot – believe me, I know about always wanting to be right – and I was certainly not the most charitable when I was listening to Mr. Swanson’s podcast. 😛 Thanks for being so open and humble and also convicting! I wouldn’t have thought less of you had you said nothing, but your commitment to glorifying God with your words was really an encouragement to me today. Thank you!!

    • KATHERINE!!! You are just – just – amazing. You’re just what the Doctor ordered (and I mean the one with bowties and sonic screwdrivers). Thank you SO, so SO much, you have no idea how much this meant to me. Does saying ‘it made me feel better’ sound childish? Well, I don’t care, because it’s true. Thank you SO much. =) Oh, and hey, did you get my email? O_o

  8. Mirriam, your post did not come across as over-angry to me, though I can see why you regretted it. But it’s okay!! It was something you had to get off your chest.

    I like how you said in this post that you moved from defense to offense. It’s so hard to remain cool when the world shouts, “INSULT EVERYTHING/EVERYONE YOU DON’T LIKE!!! RIP INTO IT! BAAHAHA!”
    So anyways. I guess most people see the defense position as weak, that you should go out and play offense to everyone you meet, but the way you wrote that kind of made me think, “Hey, that girl has some serious insight.”

    P.S. It sounds like Kevin Swanson was playing offense too.

    Have a great day 🙂

  9. I personally didn’t think it came out too strong, but perhaps that’s because I had read the article in question, and was pretty annoyed at it. 😉

    On a completely different note, did you watch this week’s Once Upon a Time?! (SPOILERS) Was that Kathryn at the end? And Regina’s story, about Snow…. *sniffles* And the bit at the end, with Regina and the ring, when she was looking out the window, and said, “We got her, David…” And how when Mary Margret said “I’m innocent!” and Regina replied, “I know, but you deserve this.” And the shovel, and Regina’s story about her mother and… *sniffles* Sorry. I have to talk to you about this, because none of my IRL friends who I see on a day-to-day basis watch OUAT, and you’re my only internet friend who does. (END SPOILERS).


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