Well. I’m sitting here and I REALLY want to write something. You know those moments when your fingers are resting on the keys, and your brain is spinning and all you want to do is type out something coherent (or incoherent) and you don’t really care what it is, you just want to write it down? Yeah, that’s what I’ve got. The English language should have a word for it.
My older sister is convinced I’m going to be a cat lady when I get older. I don’t see why; I don’t even like cats particularly (okay, that’s a lie, I like most animals INCLUDING cats, but I’d rather have a dog). Just because I want to do all sorts of crazy things in a town where no one knows me doesn’t make me a cat lady. One day, very soon, I want to take twenty-four hours and go to a nearby town where I can remain anonymous and do the following:
1. Stand on a busy street corner wearing a tee shirt that says LIFE and hand lemons to everybody
2. Run into a small store, ask the cashier what year it is, and when they tell me, run out cheering “I DID IT!!!!”
3. Step into a crowded elevator and say “I suppose you’re all wondering why I gathered you here” with a straight face
4. Walk up to random people and ask them if they’ve seen my pet Spudgie. When the ask me what he looks like, I’ll describe a Pterodactyl.
5. Follow joggers around the neighborhood blasting “Eye of the Tiger” for encouragement
6. Hide behind a car in a parking lot with a bag of firecrackers. When someone walks past, start throwing the firecrackers down every time they take a step. Stop when they pause to look around; resume once they start walking again.
7. Find a police box and stand outside it with fish fingers and custard. When someone asks you what you’re doing, say “He’s late again. I got him a snack, but you know the Doctor, he’s always goofing off,” and offer the person a fish finger.
8. Get in an elevator (Oh, I love the elevator ones) and every time someone gets on, shake their hand and say “Welcome aboard, you can call me Admiral.”
9. Get in another elevator (or the same elevator) and stand there banging your head against the wall going “Shut UP all of you, just shut UP!!”
10. Go to a mall wearing dark sunglasses. Approach random people and demand “Where were you on the night of June fifth, two thousand thirteen?”
Do you have any crazy things you want to do before you die? I’d love to hear them! We should all get together and attack an unsuspecting town. Yep.