Have you ever noticed how when someone is taking a picture of another person, the subject of the picture always poses ‘just so’ (myself included) so as to look their best? Everyone believes they have a ‘good side,’ one side of their face that is more attractive than the other. For instance, I feel my left side is my less attractive side.
I look rounder and more chubby-cheeked than when seen from my right side:
Therefore, unless a picture is being taken straight-on, I automatically tilt my head to reveal more of my right side than my left. “Sure,” you say, “I do that too. So what?”
Well, we do this with more than just our profiles when confronted with a lens. We do this with our character and personality as well. You meet someone new, and you want to impress them, so you conform to their standards and become someone you think they’ll like. This is especially easy to do over the internet. I realized about a year ago that the way I came across typed was far different than how I came across in real life. This was not intentional, of course, and I set about making my written self as genuinely ‘me’ as I could make it. Granted, I have more of a flair for writing than for speaking, and writing gives me time to sort my thoughts – something far more difficult when speaking aloud. My friend Hannah gave me a verse about not being hesitant to speak, and though I can’t remember where it comes from in the Bible, it has been a great help.
But to get back to the subject, it’s easy to try and be someone else. We think our ‘persona’ will be more attractive and appealing to the people we’re with. They mention they like a certain musical group and you say “Oh, yeah, me too!” even if you don’t particularly care for them. We do this just to score points, to make people like us.
And when I step back and look at it… it’s a really dumb thing to do. God created us how He wants us to be. Can you imagine what He thinks of us when we do that? “Why is she trying to be different than how I created her? Doesn’t she know I love her just the way I made her?”
I’ll tell you a few things about myself.
I LOVE… life. In general. I honestly do. “No, this isn’t a FROWN, this is my thoughtful expression!”
I AM NOT… amazing. I’m me, and that’s that.
I DANCE… like crazy in my room to upbeat music, but only when nobody’s watching.
I LOVE… to sing, and I love my voice, but I can’t do it in front of people. Front-row seat outside the shower door, people.
I’M NOT… skinny. My sister is skinny. I’ll never be on a magazine color, and for the most part I’m OK with that. I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to be built like a model, but hey.
I CRY… at movies. And books. I cry all the time at emotional parts.
I SING… while I do the dishes.
I’M… terribly absentminded.
I FORGET… phone messages. All the time.
I AM… a hopeless fangirl. No, this does not mean I fantasize or give my heart away. I just fangirl.
I AM… a self-proclaimed geek. I’m also a nerd. I like being one. =D
I CAN BE… extremely rude to people I don’t like. This is not a good thing, and results in some foot-in-mouth moments. Sarcasm + people dislike = bad.
I AM… awful at math. My brain shorts out and gets stage fright.
I LIKE… experimenting with fashion and makeup. On my 18th birthday I’m going to go berserk. Probably purple lipstick and cat-eye. Ahem.
I SOMETIMES… forget to do my devotions. And then I feel awful and read five chapters trying to make it up. I’m also an idiot.
I GET… frustrated with myself if a drawing doesn’t come out how I like it. I look at other artists and feel like crawling under a rock and dying because I’ll never amount to anything.
I GET… discouraged when I read a book by an author who has a magical touch, and I think I’ll never be able to write like them.
I NOTICE… little details. Colors, sounds, smells, things like that. They mean a lot to me.
I DON’T… always do what I’m told. This is one of my biggest flaws – I allow myself to get sidetracked, or I forget, or I do what I want to do instead. I hate this about myself, and am really working on doing things RIGHT THEN. Procrastination – bad.
I WISH… I looked good in anything I wore. But I’m not Cindy Crawford.
I WISH… I was engaged. Silly but true. The poor nonexistent man.
I HAVE… a very sharp tongue and a very quick temper. This is not the best combo for turning away wrath. It’s more like a Do-it-yourself Fire Starter kit.
I AM… a child of God, a princess of the kingdom of Heaven, and loved by the High King of All. He doesn’t care about my faults and my flaws. Every time I make a mistake – and this happens more times a day than I’d care to count – I come crawling back to Him, and He lifts me up, sets me straight, and loves me, no matter what.
So I may not be perfect, but I don’t have to be. My God is.