Anger isn’t pretty.
I know that.
But it’s always been my worst character flaw.
I’m quick to anger – exactly the opposite of what James 2 says to be. “Slow to wrath.”
I ain’t it.
And lately, my family has become more and more concerned that my outbursts are getting worse.
The weirdest (or scariest, whatever) thing is that I don’t see it in myself. At least, not until someone points it out. I honestly can’t tell. I don’t KNOW that I’m being angry.
Proverbs warns about a million times to stay away from the angry man, the brawling woman – and that’s exactly what I am. It’s like I have an inner dragon that rears its ugly head and shoots fire at people while I stand by and watch.
It’s a spiritual problem. It’s a personal demon, I think, because I KNOW I’m not doing anything I shouldn’t. Mom was asking if I was doing anything I shouldn’t, and I could/can honestly say “No!”
But that makes it all the harder. It isn’t one specific thing I can pluck up by the roots and burn. It’s a deeper-rooted problem that I’m going to have to root out, and it isn’t going to be easy.
Ordinarily, I like to think of myself as a nice person.
My dragon is NOT.
And I can’t let it take over, because if I do, then I’ll become the dragon; like Princess Una in “Heartless.”
Certain things can defeat an inner dragon – the fruit of the spirit, for one thing. I hear they’re poisonous to it.
The armor of God, for another. It doesn’t fancy spiritual Knights battling it (even if it DOES happen to own a maiden in distress).
I can’t just stand by and let the dragon win. I have to fight it, and I can’t do it by myself. I need my Champion, my heavenly Father and Lover of my soul to come and help me.
I also need prayer.
So, you guys, would you please pray that I can defeat this dragon? As cliched as it sounds, that’s what it feels like, and therefore it’s what I’m going to refer to it as.
I need my eyes opened, my sword sharpened, and a closer relationship with God.
So would you please help me fight this? If you do, I will be eternally grateful. 🙂