Free the Paper Tigers!

Don’t ask about the title, my friend Michelle made it up =D

Anyway, the object is to write a bit of a short story as if your character(s) were real. I love this sort of thing, it always makes me laugh, so here you go! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I’m sitting at the computer, staring at the last sentence I wrote. The cursor blinks at the end of the last word, inviting me to go on – but I can’t. Nothing comes to mind, my inspiration has run dry.  I sigh and take a swallow of my coffee.


I jump and turn around. A figure stands perched by the piano, a figure who looks very familiar. Taller and leaner than average, long blue-black hair, scars, black leather – and kelehb sticks.  “Wha-who-how-yu-” I stammer, unable to make any actual words form. “How can – this isn’t – is it? Are you?

“Yes. And you aren’t doing too well.” He nods toward the computer screen.

I frown and turn back around. “You stay out of this. It’s none of your business.”

I can feel his eyebrow raise. “It is, too! After all, I’m the one you’ve got stuck in there, tortured half to death, in a freezing cave, with an annoying main character!”

“TWO annoying main characters,” I correct him. “But she won’t always annoy you, you know. In fact, you end up falling in-” I stop myself just before it’s too late. Oh, no.

Eristor stalks over to me and leans down, his blue eyes piercing and narrowed. “Falling in…?”

“Uh, nothing,” I say quickly. “Just nothing. Forget I mentioned it.”

He draws one of his kelehb sticks from its sheath and runs a finger down a sharp edge. “You know, I could-”

“You can’t!” I interrupt. “I write you. Without me, you’re still stuck in here.” I tap the computer screen. “So just don’t even think about it.”

He scowls. “Finish what you were saying.”

“I did,” I say meekly. “I said it was none of your business. I mean,” I continue hastily before he points out again that it IS his business, “I was… uh, you both fall. Into a pit. Yeah.”

“A pit.” He looks at me, unconvinced. “What kind of pit?”

“Um,” I bite my lip. “Tar?”

“What’s tar?”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot.” I snap my fingers. “That’s an earth thing.”

“I go to earth?” he sounds alarmed.

“Well, you kinda are right now, you know,” I say drily, looking up at him.

“But not technically,” he says sourly. He looks as if he feels it is a heavy burden, going to earth. Or coming to it.

“And you don’t actually come to earth… uh, well, I mean, you do, but you don’t stay.”

“What am I doing there?”

“Earth? Chasing Kael and Thane.”

Eristor’s eyes narrow even further. “They’re dead, Mirriam.”

My heart jumps. “Oh!” I cover my mouth. “I know that.”

“Then how are we-”

“They… uh, well – um, it’s complicated. You see, they -”

“Just forget it.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, thoroughly fed up. I need to remember to stop telling him plot twists.

“Forget what?” a new female voice asks. It sounds an awful lot like my own. I look to the side and see my main character standing there. “Hey!” She looks around the room in rapture. “I’m back home! I mean, on earth, you know.”

“I don’t think much of it,” Eristor interjects, looking dolefully at his surroundings.

Sienna shoots him a sour look. “I didn’t ask you.”

“I don’t need to be asked,” he retorts, taking a step closer to the girl.

“Oh, you just don’t like the fact that for once, I’M the one who knows what’s going on, and YOU don’t, is that it?” Sienna moves forward, too.

“I said no such thing,” Eristor growls, “what I was saying, was – oh, never mind! I don’t need you telling me what to do, anyway.”

“I wasn’t,” Sienna’s eyes flash, “but since you mention it, why don’t you just disappear?

“I will if you will.”

“Mirriam, make him shut up!” Sienna screeches, her hands in fists.

“Eristor, shut up,” I say half-heartedly. Just to be fair, I add “You too, Sienna.”

“I will not,” she replies angrily, “but since we’re here, would you mind telling this overgrown pea-brain that he should quit carrying around those butter knives. They’re much too big for him, and he’s going to end up killing someone.”

“With pleasure!” Eristor snarls, drawing them and moving toward her.

“Guys, guys, GUYS!” I shut my eyes, wince, and say loudly, “YOU GUYS END UP FALLING IN LOVE!”

Silence permeats the air, so thick I could have cut it with a rubber ball.

Then –

“We WHAT!?”

I moan and lean my head on my arms. I really need to stop spilling plot twists.


9 thoughts on “Free the Paper Tigers!

  1. Hey, goob. Got your blog address from Miah’s blog, thanks EVER so much for emailing it. My blog hasn’t been Joel and the Gang for a few months, dahling. It is XOXO

  2. *giggles*
    I know another great story you should do this with…it’d be a KNOCK OUT….*grin*

    Haha, seriously…you ought to – then I can read it when I see you! XD

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