Twilight – again!

Note: Everything I about this movie, I got from www.pluggedin.com’s review on Eclipse. Just so you know. I haven’t read it, I haven’t seen it, but I know enough about it to rant about it a little. So here you go.

Three words – goodie goodie gumdrops!

They’re BAAAACK with another movie – (no, really, another one!). And by ‘them’ I mean Bella “Mary-Sue” Swan, Edward “demi-god” Cullen and Jacob “Wolfman” Black.  Ah, the joys of Twilight.

If you don’t know the Twilight plot – well, heaven help you because it’s been used time and time again. Girl meets Boy. Boy and Girl fall in love.  Introduce another Boy who loves Girl who loves both Boys. It’s your basic love triangle with a few werewolves and vampires thrown in.

But honestly, I had to rant again. Now the things that bother me about these movies aren’t the vampires and werewolves. No, in fact they’re in rather favorable lights in this series – most of them, anyway. Let me share with you what bothers me about these movies/books.

1. Bella. Honestly.  “I’m in love with you, Edward! I’d die for you! I’d lose my soul for you! Please turn me into a vampire so we can marry! Who cares about afterlife?” but… “Oh, dear, Jacob, I’m in love with YOU, too! Oh dear – so what if you love me, protect me, fight for me? Edward is just too… SHINY!!”

So maybe I’m exaggerating… but not much. Really not that much. This girl needs to get her mind straight – she needs to put her feet on the ground, she needs to re-evaluate her life, immortal or not.

2. “Romance”. Good grief. This isn’t ‘romance’ – this is over-the-top-totally-unrealistic-torn-between-two-perfect-guys-cliched-predictable lust. On one hand, there’s Edward. Oh, dear – he’s a vampire, he’s in deep love with Bella, he’s sexxxaaay (at least Bella and half the females in America think so – I am exempt) he ‘sparkles’ (yes, ladies and gents, he *sparkles* in the sun – ah, me) and he’s immortal. WOW! Okay, so basically he’s practically perfect in every way. He’s chivalrous to a fault – one plus for him, at least. But these books/movies are setting girls up  – they will have unrealistic expectations of what love should be, and they’ll be disappointed. At least, they probably will. I mean, I’m sure there are at least  FEW immortal vampires out there who are willing to fall in love with plain-Jane klutzes from nowhere… aren’t there?

3. Jacob. Okay. Let me see. He’s a werewolf, he’s in deep love with Bella, he’s sexxxaaay (once again, according to half the females in America) and he walks around shirtless for most of the movie. Bella even once asks Edward “Doesn’t he own a shirt?” concerning Jacob. Well, yeah, but he and his pack of werewolf buddies aren’t too fond of clothing, so they basically just don’t bother with it. This, of course, gives the females in the audience plenty of time to ogle Jacob’s buff body- which could be considered just as bad as the Miley Cyrus scandals considering he’s only seventeen years old and therefore still underage. Yeah, shapeshifting WOULD be hard on clothes… but it’s different when you’re shirtless in a book then when you’re shirtless throughout 99 percent of the movie for the express purpose of getting females to drool over you.

4. The Parents

Okay, so… Bella’s father thinks that she and Edward have gone all the way. What does he say? Basically, “just be careful, honey.” And when Bella informs him she’s still a virgin, he says that it makes him like Edward a little more.

…oohhhkay, well, I guess Bella doesn’t have to worry about over-protective parents, at least…

And so, there you have them.

Those are my reasons for being ticked at Twilight. I’m not going to waste any energy being either a Twi-hard or an AnTwi – I would just like to leave you with this verse.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. ~ Phillippians 4: 8

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13 thoughts on “Twilight – again!

  1. So I admit it. I went to the midnight premiere of Eclipse. Yes. Me. I went. And I, must also confess, I actually enjoyed it. I’ve also read the books. And will probably go see Breaking Dawn when it comes out. Cuz I’m just that way. I’ve discovered that I can’t do things by halves. 😛

    However, I think you did raise some of the objections that I have with the books…I mean, Stephenie Meyer didn’t exactly write the all-time best book for teenage girls to see real life and romance up close and personal. But then again…do any writers ever present life as it “really is”? Um, no.

    (Although, I would like to say, in reference to the shirtlessness of the werewolves, there is a good reason. Do you know how annoying it would be to either a) have to take off so many clothes every time you changed into a wolf, or b) ruin so many clothes on a consistent basis every time you lost your temper? Yeah. Being a werewolf is hard on your clothing. :P)

    But in any case- I did enjoy Twilight, but I am far from a crazy fan girl (“Twihard”), but nor am I a diehard “AnTwi”. I’m just…sort of in the middle.

    In Bella’s words…I am Switzerland. 😛

  2. this series annoys me like no other and i have NOT seen any of them or read the books.

    i’m pretty sure the only people that indulge in this sad excuse for a movie are the same “tweens” that go all google-eyed over justin beiber AND the same people that vote 40 times a night via cell phone for weekly American Idol episodes. Sensing a trend?! I am…….

  3. I’ve always found the whole idea somewhat disgusting, and having observed my teenage cousins squeal insanely over Jacob, I think I’m going to be sick.

    *blech*

  4. Tommy- I do neither of those things, and like I said, I actually enjoyed Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse, and have read all four books. Generalization isn’t cool. 😉

  5. I agree. It’s pathetic. I dread the movie releases{thank goodness the books are done with!} because of all the hoo-haw. It’s times like these that make me embarrassed to be a highschool aged girl because I automaticly get lumped in with the “airheads”. 😦
    If anybody asks, I stand for purity, decency, true love, and *REAL* literature!{not to mention good film} But I mean seriously, even Harry Potter has a good story line. And a few moral pointers.
    But of course Twilight has “hunky” guy characters. O.o I wouldn’t go in an ally if I saw Edward lurking about in it. He looks like a stoner in the movies – is that considered ?attractive nowadays? Heeellllpp!
    This fall my orchestra{much to our dismay} are playing a few songs from the first movie. Ugh. I went over it a few times and – eww. Its so depressing and dark and cold-feeling. I’m hoping there are enough of us to vote it out this fall.

  6. I’m with you all the way, Earwen. And apart from all this, the movie (and, no, I haven’t seen it, but of what I know) just has a very dark feel to it. If someone out there likes them…good for you! But not for me.

  7. I applaud you Ëarwen for seeing and sharing the truth among this huge lie. I recently saw an article about how married women are leaving their husbands for Edward and Jacob… *disgusted look* Seriously? These people need to get in touch with REALITY!

    In all honesty, there is no harm in reading a book, or watching a movie and enjoying the time spent in a created world. But when it gets THAT extreme, there’s clearly something wrong.

    I can’t wait for the final movie to be done and over with so that this fad can just die. And I’m pretty sure it will NOT have an afterlife.

  8. “But I mean seriously, even Harry Potter has a good story line. And a few moral pointers.”

    I’d just like to clear something up real quick, if I may- Twilight actually has a moral message, as well as a fairly good storyline. I mean, who can’t love a blend of romance, action, and humor? And Stephenie Meyer does have the gift of storytelling. But anyway.

    In both the first and second books (Twilight/New Moon) Carlise Cullen, the ‘father’ of the clan, tells his story. He was the son of a 1600’s pastor, you know one of those who went out searching ‘wickedness’ and witchcraft wherever he could find it. Carlisle agreed with him that vampires were evil…but then ended up getting changed. Carlisle now faced a dilemma. For a long time, he tried to kill himself, but eventually discovers the compromise of drinking animal blood.

    But anyway, the moral there is this- what do you do when you find yourself in a situation you can’t solve? Do you take the chicken’s way out, doing what is immediately obvious (which is probably sinful), or do you do the right thing that is probably quite a bit harder?

    Also, in the books and movies, Edward refuses to have sex with Bella (though Bella does push for it, but at least Edward stands firm) before they’re married, though (in the books, particularly) they are still very physically involved. Yeah.

    Also, I do agree with Ruthie that the Twi-freaks are insane. Making these movies a way of life is nuts, and it isn’t healthy.

  9. My Reaction: *shudder*

    Though I have never seen it or read the books or seen the movie and never will. I did hear one thing that sounded alright, Edward and Bella do get married eventually, that’s what I read in a review at any rate…

    ~Monica

  10. Not to, like, start an argument here, but I’m with you, Earwen. The “romance” in these books doesn’t seem to me to be mushiness, even, but lust. That’s my impression.

    Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. –Song of Songs 8:4

  11. LOVE your thoughts on Twilight!!!! You make me crack up. 😀

    I am not a big fan mostly because it is SO popular. Anything that is that popular makes me hesitate.

  12. oh my GOODNESS. If I wore makeup and dyed my hair brown I WOULD LOOK LIKE BELLA. 😦

    That.
    is.
    FREAKY.

    I dunno why I’m spaming you with comments. hope ya smile, goofy-goosey-crazyamazing-weirdo-coolo-girlie-gurl. 🙂

    Awel P.

  13. Interestingly enough, did any of yall think about the verse in the OT that talks about NOT drinking the blood of anything? I would think that would make vampires basically evil even in their very nature as that is what they do.

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