You know you’re a writer when…

NOTE: I am guilty of absolutely every single one of these.

But I know you are, too, so don’t laugh just yet.

You know you’re a writer when…

• You find yourself writing loads of fanfiction for your favorite movies, books, and TV shows

• You can’t read a book or watch a movie without thoroughly analyzing each character

• You find yourself critiquing books you read

• You know at least four synonmyms for every word (Face – countenance, visage, features).

• You have more pens, pencils, and scraps of paper on your person than a ninja has weapons

• You tend to stick pencils in your hair, then forget about them and walk around looking for something to write with (alas, absentmindedness comes with being a writer).

• You get so wrapped up in stories that you find yourself talking to them (“How COULD he???” “What were you THINKING?” “This story is AWFUL!” “I wonder if they wrote any more books…”)

• You think you should invest in a cell pone or bluetooth so you can talk to your characters but nobody will give you strange stares

• You spend entire days talking, dressing, and acting like a character to ‘get inside their head’

• You have made up your own fantasy language

• You never get High elves, dark elves, wild elves, night elves, or santa elves mixed up

• You automatically use your pen name more than your real one

• You have more character files than the FBI

• You would rather talk to your characters than the person sitting by you

• You’re upset because you grew up in a normal family with two parents, five kids, and a dog. What a gyp.

• You refer to your favorite characters as ‘my baby’

• You simply smile and nod when people say ‘you’re crazy’ because you know it and you’re proud of it

• You keep every notebook you’ve ever had with writing it because one of them might spark an idea some day

• You have notebook stuffed with funny, witty, or clever lines that you will change a little and use yourself (It is NOT plagiarism!!)

• You start a book/movie and instantly know who is going to die and who will survive

• You start a book/movie and know how the plot will turn out after the first five chapters

• Nobody likes to watch movies with you because you talk through the whole thing, pointing out mistakes, laughing, crying, and over-reacting

• You go into fits watching someone write with bad grammar

• You find yourself talking about your characters as if they were real. “So-and-so said… uh, I mean, I wrote…”

• After correcting your mistake, you apologize to the character because the person you were talking to wouldn’t have understood

• “New Book Smell” perfume would sell (sheesh, you’d even take old book smell!)

• You consider ink on your fingers to be badges of honor

• You can’t stand those cranked-out fanfiction books (only good fanfiction gets by you!)

• You can’t stand it when nobody ever ‘says’ anything, it’s always ‘he retorted’ ‘she growled’ ‘he snorted’ ‘she pouted’

• You can’t stand it when all anybody ever does is SAY things – ‘she said’ ‘he said’

• You’re always on the lookout for real models for your characters

 (These next ones are from other sources)

• Getting the scene finished is more important than food, coffee, or the bathroom.

• You have a favorite line from every movie you’ve seen.

  • You can’t write because you’re mad at one of your characters.
  • You argue with said character.
  • • You have a folder on your computer labeled “Ideas.” Some of the files within this folder have only one or two words or sentences and while they made perfect sense fifteen years ago, between the software changes in that period of time garbling half the words and your own faulty memory, you have no idea what it means or where you were going with it. But you keep it anyway because you never know, you might remember it eventually.

  • You wake up in the middle of the night and scrabble for the pen and paper you keep next to your bed to write down a scene to make the voices be quiet so you can get some sleep.
  • You end an argument with someone by saying, “Oh, wait, I have to write this down–this is the perfect conflict for my characters! Now, repeat what you just yelled.”
  • • (NOTE: I COULD NOT BELIEVE I FOUND THIS!! AAAHHH!! This is SOOO me hahahaha!!!) You think Paul Bettany’s portrayal of Chaucer in A Knight’s Tale is one of the most brilliant characters ever put on film . . . and you often quote several of his lines:

      Chaucer: I’m a writer.
      Wat: A what?
      Chaucer: A wha–a what? A writer. I write, with parchment, and ink. Geoffrey Chaucer’s the name, writing’s the game. You’ve read my book? the Book of the Duchess? No? Well, it was allegorical.
      Roland: Well, we won’t hold that against you, that’s for every man to decide for himself.
      Chaucer: I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw.
      Will: You lied . . .
      Chaucer: Yes . . . yes I lied. I’m a writer, I give the truth scope!

    • You know the difference between metaphor, allegory, and analogy—and you use all of them.

    • The thought of sharing a computer with someone else horrifies you. What if they accidentally download a virus? What if they change the settings in Word? WHAT IF THEY READ MY STUFF???

    • You live in a constant state of “What if?”


    14 thoughts on “You know you’re a writer when…

    1. ROFLOL! XD Okay, I do several of those: I can’t write if I’m not getting along with a character; finishing the scene IS more important than anything; it kills me when people use really bad grammar; I have SEVERAL documents filled with one or two-sentence bullets for ideas.

      You know you’re a writer when:
      *You will argue long and hard–and angrily–if anyone DARES to insult your characters, even if it’s the villain. ^_^
      *You kill off a character and go into mourning for a week or so.
      *You finish the first draft of your novel and have a few weeks of emotional letdown, when you can’t think straight, feel like you just lost a whole group of your best friends, and wonder if you’ll ever have the inspiration to write again!

      Yep, those are all from personal experience. ^o^

      By the way, those Robin Hood quotes on the sidebar made me laugh! 😀

    2. Wow!!! ALMOST all of those are true for me!

      I LOVE the idea about getting a bluetooth/headset so I can talk to my characters! lol! You could just hold a dead cell phone up to your ear, though.

      Loved this post! (Could I borrow the idea sometime?)

      Love you, Alice!

      Your friend,

    3. Ooo, I agree with soooo many of those! it’s crazy! All writers must be somehow distantly related.
      About the knowing-how-the-movie-will-end part: Well, if they’re wearing red shirts, they’re going to die. But you already know this, since you’re a Trekkie too:)
      By the way, i LOVE the quotes on your side bar from Robin Hood! They’re sooo awesome!!! (i love Robin Hood. Maybe I should rephrase that… I’m obsessed with Robin Hood;))

    4. Thisismyconclusion – OH YES!!!!
      I thought of another one –
      • You think that sobbing hysterically is a good sign when people read your book
      • You look on eavesdropping as ‘collecting ideas’

      • LOL!

        *You find yourself inventing a detailed backstory for every person you meet at the grocery store and/or mall. 😀


    5. Avarona–

      *You finish the first draft of your novel and have a few weeks of emotional letdown, when you can’t think straight, feel like you just lost a whole group of your best friends, and wonder if you’ll ever have the inspiration to write again!

      YESSS!!!!! SO true!!;)

      • I totally went through that last June when I finished the first draft of my novel. Glad to know I’m not the only one. 😉


    6. Oh, my goodness. when I read over this I was like, “I feel like I’m raising my hand after every one of them… I must be very writerish…” 🙂

      LOVE it!!!

      Love & Hugs–

    7. You can’t stand those cranked-out fanfiction books (only good fanfiction gets by you!)

      EXCUSE ME….? *grins*
      And yes, getting the scene done is FAR more important than the bathroom! …well…unless there is NO way on the planet to sit in the computer seat any more. XD

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